The Mooch bids America farewell with bizarrely poetic parting words
Say what you want about Donald Trump's former almostWhite House Communications Director, but there's no denying the dude's got a way with words.
During the mere 10 days in his White House career, we had a chance to read some of Anthony Scaramucci's "colorful language" from his wild interview with The New Yorker's Ryan Lizza. Now that he's left his role he's free to speak even more ... freely.
SEE ALSO:Anthony Scaramucci resigned and everyone is hahahahahahahahahaIn an interview with The Huffington Post published on Tuesday, The Mooch dropped some next-level inspiration and explained why on earth he decided to say all those utterly bizarre things to Lizza onrecord.
Here are his nuttiest quotes from the latest exchange:
"The Lizzas and Scaramuccis have been friends for over 50 years. My dad knew his dad from construction, and we were building a personal relationship."
This quote is odd seeing as how Huffington Posteditor Vicky Ward asked Lizza what he thought of the quote and he seems to remember their family bond a bitdifferently. "I’ve only known Anthony in his capacity as a Trump surrogate and then White House communications director," Lizza told Ward.
"We are not and have never been ‘old family friends,’ though I think our fathers knew each other, so maybe that’s what he’s talking about. (The Long Island Italian world in that generation is relatively small.) But again, that would not be a reason to suppress an explosive on-the-record interview," he went on. Despite this burn, Scaramucci reportedly still plans to take Lizza out for a beer (LOL).
"Most of what I said was humorous and joking."
Ohhhhhhh.Right. So if that's the case, Mooch, maybe next time you after you say things like “I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own cock" or "Reince is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac," consider adding a "JK LOL" so people know you are just a humorous jokester.
"Legally, it may have been on the record, but the spirit of it was off. And he knew that."
Honestly, how could Lizza have known this conversation was spiritually off the record if it wasn't declared? What is"spiritually off the record"? There is no such thing! If we've learned anything from this ordeal it's this: When partaking in a conversation to a reporter that you don't want to be made public, be sure to declare on the recordthat you are off the record.
"I think I have strep."
You're telling us that on top of Scaramucci's eventful as hell week in politics — losing his job; being listed as dead by his alma mater, Harvard; missing the birth of his son; and rumors of his wife filing for divorce — he alsopossibly had strep throat? RIP.
"It’s fine. I mean, what am I going to do?"
This quote was reportedly in response to being asked about "the collapse of his marriage."
"I am now going to go dark ..."
"So what are you going to do next," Ward asked him.
“I am now going to go dark ..." Scaramucci said.
"And then?" Ward persisted.
"Then I will reemerge." Mooch said, pausing. "As me."
Let us anxiously await Mooch to reemerge from his silkycocoon of darkness, a beautiful and far more self-aware Mooch butterfly.
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